This Online Community Sees Women Open Up About Their Experiences With Vaginal Tearing

Instagram has become a powerful platform when it comes to creating an online community of like-minded souls. When it comes to sex, sex-positive influencers have challenged the stigma and, in some instances, shame around female sexuality and looked to empower women to think freely of pleasure and arousal. For some women though, sex isn’t something that can be enjoyed but rather a painful experience, one that can be had without tearing. For 27-year-old Jillian Currie, this experience of sex that had her feeling alone inspired her to create Queens of Eve, a community which brings women suffering from all kinds of vaginal conditions together. 

Removing the shame and stigma surrounding vaginal conditions that are so rarely spoken about, Currie instead decided to open up about her own experience and in doing so, inspire countless others to do the same. In a recent Instagram post, Currie wrote: “My vulva tearing happens right at the base of the vaginal opening, and only when trying to have sex (vulval pain is daily however).”

She added, “But recently, I am tearing on both sides of my labia just from touching it to wash, or I’ve found my skin to be itchy and even from a gentle rub to relieve this it tears. Trying to shower with split skin stings so much, dabbing loo roll on there after a wee, and wearing underwear. The thought of someone else touching me fills me with dread.”

https://www.instagram.com/p/CSjCKOqMpK2/

https://www.instagram.com/p/CSjCKOqMpK2/

As Currie has explained to others on the community, her condition has had a huge impact on her relationships and affected them greatly. She explained that the last time she was having “healthy” sex with a partner was seven years ago, when she was 20. Her tearing issue began during an abusive relationship which began in 2015, but Currie remains unsure if there’s a link. She references ‘jock itch’, a contagious fungal infection which causes a red and itchy rash, which her partner at the time experienced and Currie considers could be a potential cause for the tearing. Even despite having numerous treatments over the years, Currie remains no closer to a ‘normal’ sex life. 

Speaking about her relationships, Currie wrote: “The lack of sex in this relationship due to cheating on me, made my confidence incredibly low. I was never touched sexually and felt like a spare part. What made this worse is a couple of years later, my most recent partner did the same thing. Not the abusive part, but the no sex part. To have two partners back to back who didn’t seem very interested in sex has made me recoil into my shell even more. Then came the pandemic, leaving me feeling like I don’t even know how to have sex anymore. Not with confidence anyway.”

https://www.instagram.com/p/CQodngUMw5N/

https://www.instagram.com/p/CQodngUMw5N/

She added, “I don’t feel sexy, I feel unloved and unwanted. Like I’ve been put on a shelf, but combine that with not being able to feel sexy because I have to wear cotton big girl’s pants, always have something wrong with my vulva/vagina and can’t physically enjoy sex without pain. I feel like I would let any future partner down. They would need to be incredibly understanding.”

As Currie struggles to understand her condition and diagnosis, her posts are empowering others to share their own struggles and feel less alone in their own health journey. Several commenters took to her post to share their own experiences, with one saying: “I am married and I am lucky to have such a wonderful caring husband. I have provoked vestibulodunia with tearing on the posterior forcette. I worry daily it will eventually break us and he will find someone with a ‘normal vag’. 

Another added, “I found your page after googling my issues. I’m now 33 and have never had healthy sex life due to tearing. I can’t tell you how much it’s meant to me to find you and feel like I’m not alone. It’s a very miserable and lonely journey, but you’ve helped me feel less self-critical and embarrassed.”

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